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What to do I am a victim of domestic violence and husband threatens to leave home if whether I go to police or hospital?

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Br
RoseOfUniverse
Ba
nav1956 sarah_7
Br
Broken 29 Jul 2013

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sarah_7 19 Oct 2019

Maniulation is common in abusive relationships. Have savings hidden somewhere to support yourself for sometime. Go to the police and hospital. A men who hit's you will go it again. If he leaves home it's for the best don't you think?

RoseOfUniverse 24 Jan 2016

I understand what you are going through..and you know where you are lucky, You don't have any kids, which means you do not have to worry about the future of someone else, you can do your best to raise yourself, can't you? Stop finding excuses not to leave this relationship.
I have known someone who used to come crying to me when she divorced(she got 2 children), she was very depressed..right now when i see her..I am proud of her, she got her own job( and trust me, she isn't a degree holder, or have any Sc or HSC), is now constructing her own house, A great effort from your part is needed if you want change in your life, go find yourself a job(she didnt have any great job either..but she is a survivor) Be a Survivor!Be a model for women living in similar situation..stop being dependent of your husband,As fo your pet , lots of people wouldnt mind taking them for adoption, it is better for you and them, It is hard, but sometime it is better to sacrifice for the best of you all(you could use facebook or something)You are one beautiful being, you happiness matters,Once you find yourself your niche, you could buy yourself lots of pets...right now i wish you take care of your health, go to the hospital and the police station

Ba
BadFundodo 12 Jan 2016

I assume that you are a financially dependent wife.
I assume that your husband is employed (the bread winner) and that you're not.
I assume he pays for most of your expenses and that you are a housewife by profession and that you look after your kids at home.
I assume that you cannot afford divorce because you survive because of him and that you don't want your children to be emotionally scarred by marital separation.

Those are the typical circumstances which lead to manipulative relationships. In my opinion, a loosing strategy.

Feminists(not the deluded & crazy ones)have done their work and we now live in an almost gender equal, fairer society. I believe that women should strive for education and autonomy. Looking out for wealthy, providing charming princes is simply outdated in this day and age and it may lead to the dreadful situations like the one you're in.

It is very likely that you wouldn't be in such an unfortunate relationship if you were empowered/employed. So somewhere, it may be partly your fault if you chose this dependent life.

However, I'm not necessarily judging as I know nothing of your history (also I have no idea whether my assumptions are correct). In fact, I condemn your husband's behaviour and think that it must not be encouraged or tolerated.

Maybe you should talk about your issue to some family member who cares before reporting to law enforcers( aka the police).

nav1956 05 Aug 2013

i am sorry that you are in such a situation. It appears that you are living in fear. Violence should not be tolerated, and it appears that he has been violent to a level when you need medical help. I take it you have talked to him and he cannot understand what you are going through. Please inform the police and do get medical help. HE will be the one to have to leave the house and will have to provide for you. It is best to live poor, but in peace and with self respect.

br
brucey 05 Aug 2013

Without trying to be cynical, I fail to understand how you can put your animals first, when you are getting beaten up. They'll survive; you might not!
Can you get a restaining order from the police, so that if he comes within 100 metres of you, he can be arrested?

Khush_Mendossa 30 Jul 2013

We all have equal power. Fear is a great weapon. Now use it.

gices 29 Jul 2013

Sit down with a calm mind and assess your situation properly. If your husband has been beating you and/or causing you emotional suffering, you will need to get back in control of your life. Think about questions like these:

  1. If you have any kids, what will happen to them?
  2. Can you find work or do you rely completely on your husband?
  3. Are you ready to leave your husband or do you still want to make things work between you?
  4. What are the chances of him changing?
  5. Will you get the support of your family/friends if you start afresh without him?

There are shelters for people in this situation and usually it's up to the woman to reach out to the people who can help because without your testimony nothing can be done against your husband.

anonymous_4 02 Aug 2013

Thank you for reply.

  1. I don't have kids but I have few animals and I don't want to get rid of them.
  2. I work but as I took several loans for him to pay his debts I won't be able to go and rent a house etc.
  3. I am ready to leave him but can't leave my animals behind.
  4. There are very few chances that he may come to change 'cause his mother is still a victim of domestic violence and doesn't have the right to talk to anybody 'bout it.
  5. I am a really lonely person, got nobody to rely on.