Ask the Mauritians

What better way to get help with your queries than to ask the locals

Join Community
Ask the Mauritians
1271 members 1770 topics 5966 posts

Ten years of suffocation under in-law abuse - what to do?

last updated
4 replies
244 views
5 users
0 likes
SO
Khush_Mendossa
Ma
gices
SO
SOS 05 Feb 2015

I met my Mr. Right THE most handsome Man :) in abroad where we worked together. We got married in my country and welcomed our first child there. We 3 came to Mauritius (my husband home) with all our hopes after liquidizing all my properties. His family kept asking us to come home and our little one was less than 5 month old at that time.

We lived with my in-laws. Had lots of rules and customs to follow. I had to compromise clothing, food, religion I obeyed all most all of their rules hoping someday we will built our nest and move. My husband started working and I stayed with the child. They wanted me to speak English and I had no chance to learn Creole nor French. My kid finally became fluent in creole at the age of 6. My mother-in law had many dispute with neighbors and first day of arrival she labeled whom I must talk. So simply had to stay inside.

They were verbally and physically abusive but I never said a word to my husband nor police. We hardly had a chance to go out. Whenever he got a gap we both together started constructing our nest top of my in-laws house where he had applied building and construction permit.

Within less than a year we moved up to our partially built house.Life was full of love and joy. I forgot the pain they gave. Meeting the ends with a bank loan his income was not suffice. I couldn't find a job not knowing the language. So we left to work overseas with the kid after 3 years. They have started to use my house and haven't paid utility bills. 3 years of earning We returned home. Father-in-law had passed away few month before our arrival.

We finished the rest of the construction obeying my mother-in-law strict rules. My husband got a better a break in abroad soon we finished the house. When my husband away she said we have money, buy a land and move out. Lots of disputes lies she spreaded within the family. She stopped family visiting us.

We had no idea my husband had received only authorization to build not a contact. I got an attorney letter to vacate the house within 2 month, saying that she built it and house given to us for free of rent. my lawyer stopped her attempt by sending all our proof documents. Now they want us to vacate the house and agree to pay what we spent on constructions. We haven't kept all bills and masons we paid without written voucher. Me and my husband together done possible construction work in order to save labor cost.

My worse nightmare began after that. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are working for police. He broke our property several times and physically and verbally abused me and my little girl. Whenever I seek police help to advice them all attempt were wasted. So far I have not done any declaration. They speak creole to police who came I understood none but my kid says they lies to police denied their crimes. In the end police shouting at me that I quarrel when ever my husband away. Which is other way around. They have done so many false cases against me which is baseless. Summon yet to receive.

They make constant noise knocking our floor, sometimes car horn and some vibrating system. We kept changing bedrooms other methods to absorb sounds, (fan on, music on, floor filled with stuff, ear plugs) but merely we sleep per day. Kid started to sleep in the school. Each time they knock child poop or pee on pant. Nuisance noise 24/24 hours. I am pregnant now and its a shame I wet the bed in sleep and bleed. I go to bed at different times. Noise was that loud my stomachache so sever that times I thought I will have a miscarriage.

I have gone to CDU, family protection, Court Manager many more places, so far no luck. Bottom line, what they want -----our house. I have no family here nor any trustworthy friend. They are dominating the whole neighborhood (police-family) neighbors talk to me when they are not around. Our life is in danger. I lost my faith in god. We pray daily. I lost hope on justice system. My husband doesn't want to loose his house so does the kid. During this struggling time my pregnancy has turned me more helpless.

Has anyone got similar situations how they overcome such situations. Any advice appreciate.

4 Comments

Khush_Mendossa 06 Feb 2015

Hi. Having studied Law, the best advice I can give you is to take your husband and child and start a new life. There is something greater than law created by human, which is karma. It comes late, but it comes.

2
Ma
Mauritius2014 06 Feb 2015

It is a harrowing story, I feel sorry for those people who waste their time to ruin others life.
Well I could tell you to go to Radio Plus or other private radios to talk about your ordeal but even if you get the house they will find a way to make your life miserable, so it would be useless.

What I find unacceptable is that your child is suffering and even the child in your womb. This will affect the child’s life when growing up, more so it is not a suitable environment to raise your child. Start immediately planning how you will get out of here.

Another thing that you should understand is that even if you are attached to that house it is nothing more than concrete walls, you are giving it that importance. There is something far more important than that house, it is your child. Forget about that house, you can rebuilt a house but would you be able to give your child’s childhood back?

Be thankful that your husband is on your side. I know families where the husband disregard what the wife says. So this is a positive thing. You are not alone!

If you are going to stay, you will change in a bad way. You will start fighting back, you will disrespect them and they would harass you. This can go on endlessly. Don’t expect those people to change.

I can tell you that there are worst case than you, do not not lose faith in god and believe in yourself. This situation will pass, it is not permanent .It’s not that they don’t like you (I won’t say that they like you either) but it seems that you are an obstacle between them and the house. The problem is with them and not you. Every time you take a decision think of your child first don’t let your emotions take control of your sanity.

So I will say the same as Gices, leave! Frankly speaking, everyone would suffocate having these type of people around.

You will be ok soon...

2
gices 05 Feb 2015

I feel really sad reading your story :(

I'll put down the facts as I've experienced them myself - Mauritius is a corrupted country and it's all about who you know. You are trying to fight a battle which will wear you out completely. I understand how much the house means to you, how much hard work has been put into making it what it is today but at the end of the day, you are losing what matters the most, your family life.

Put it this way, if you are able to claim back the house, do you think the in-laws will let you live in peace? They will make your life more miserable and from what you described, they will go to great lengths to achieve that.

If your little girl is wetting herself when people knock on the door, it means this is affecting her a lot. You're in no better state yourself and with another baby on the way, do you think you'll be able to cope with 2 kids and the stress you're being subjected to?

Stop clinging to the house, it's not worth it in my opinion. Yeah I know it's hard to let you when it's all your sweat and blood but sometimes you lose and fall in life and you just have to get the strength to get up and start all over again.

Get as much money as you can from that house and go back to your own country. It may be hard in the beginning but I believe you'll have a better family life than in Mauritius.

Sometimes we need to take a risk instead of believing things will get better.

I'm here to help in any way I can if you need me. Be strong!

2
SO
SOS 26 Sep 2015

Hi Gices,

My phone book all the people they have contacted no one willing to answer.
Today latest found out my girls passport too missing. new born just 2 and half and he has no passport yet. police i went today , people treat me like am crazy.

They are trying to prove am crazy so babies i have to keep and leave the country. to apply a new passport it will take too long and by that time sure i will no survive. i have a feeling they have put me on a social media website something. when i get in to a bus too many people are following me. to the world my husband is the best. coz i never utter an ill word against him sofar.

who ever follow having a cell phone. i guess i have been bugged during my baby delivery.

The fact that there are untold things i suffer here i havent mentioned. my husband became more abusive and its daily routing. he keeps telling we leave this house but not. Since you are aware of computer i guess you know that WIFI can make someone crazy. hi wifi frequency coming from down to up. my camera screen my husband busted so i cant even take a photo.

may be they approached you too plz stay in touch.

regards

mithila