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I'm a girl and I don't feel safe walking alone in Port-Louis as men keep hitting on me

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sarah_7 17 Dec 2019

I usually go out with a male friend or my dad . Whenever I go out on my own it is usually in tourist areas before 15 00. I'm almost always in a car. However there has been some times where I was in the very safe streets of Port Louis past that time. Here was my observation:

I was leaving Victoria Bus station to go meet my dad who was fetching me, a man came close to my ear and whispered something sexual

I was crossing the streets a much older man said '' where are you going I can give you a lift' I immidiately turned up at my friend's office since they had security.

I was at Caudan, my friend was off work and coming to meet me at the new food court. I walked towards the point of meeting while admiring the boats and waves; a man appeared in front of me asking why I'm so alone and If I have a boyfriend

I had to go to two towns and there was a huge traffic jam because of a class 2 cyclone. So I was hastilly heading home. It was 17 30. I had just arrived in Port Louis. A man appeared next to me: '' Hi..what's your name...why don't you talk....'' I pretended to look at grains to let him go before me then I changed streets. He appeared nehind me:'' where are you going? ...are you married? Don't walk so fast'' I went inside a shop. Hid in it and told the owner that a man was following me. He asked his employee to look for that person. Turns out that person walked around the building. I stayed 15 minutes in hiding. The shop was closing but I stayed then I went. It was then dark.

I was walking in the streets after a course in Port Louis. The course ended at 16 00. I was using an advise by a friend. Avoiding eye contact when you walk. I have been trying this for a couple of days with varying difficulties. I'm usually a social person so changing my habbits had to be learned. For one second, my eye met a woman's she pulled me closer then started asking for money in an emotional voice.

This week. My dad left me and my friend alone for some 30 seconds while we were taking pictures at Caudan. A man came to us asking to take a picture with us. My friend said no. I alerted my dad. His friend came then another. We went away. That was creepy.

Port Louis on week days before 15 00 is ok. Nobody annoys me. The rare times where I was being approached was lost tourists looking for directions politely or just a comment or two during museums visits.

Nobody annoys me when I'm out with a male friend. All my male friends are muscular but I'm the only one with a martial arts background. People often gossip about me because I'm always out with a different male friend or that I have no life because I avoid going out on week ends. But I look vulnerable, thus I'm at risk of assaults.

This is what I do now as additional safety measures: Never let my hair lose; looks to girly. Wear black sunglasses Wear caps Avoid eye contact.

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Sasuke_Uchiha 20 Jan 2020
  1. A man approaching you for sexual reasons would only do so if he felt that you would probably give him a positive reply. So he was trying his luck by asking something.

  2. A man teasing you is in reality misbehaving with you because in this case you both are strangers.

  3. A man genuinely interested in you would approach you decently and be frank about it

Of course, situation 1 and 2 is bad. I would never do that. But yeah i might come talk to you if I like you.

The question is how would you differentiate between a man like me and them.

There is only one way: by talking with a very serious tone.

In situation 1: you should display anger in your face and even tell him that you will start shouting loudly and make him lose his face in the public.

In situation 2: You should never act shy. A man teasing a girl who is a stranger is not a good man. So give him a serious look, show him the anger in your face. Show him that you do not like his behaviour.

In situation 3: If I come to talk to you because I like you and I talk decently. I would appreciate if you would talk to me. You have two choices afterwards. You either tell me that you're very sorry and that you dont want to get to know me or you can ask my number and then say that you will contact me later on.

Of course, try not be alone at the wrong times. Even if we do have laws in our country and that we expect a certain level of decency in public, there is always going to be people who would misbehave.

By the way, I'm a martial artist too but I practice alone. Which martial arts do you practice?

gices 18 Dec 2019

I think that men in general are sexually frustrated.

My sister once told me some idiot whispered something nasty in her ear in P-Louis while she was walking back home and that got me triggered. However this is not a problem only in Mauritius, it is worldwide. Back in the UK, I was walking along with a friend (girl) in a crowded place and suddenly she turned towards me and said someone just groped her.

I have observed similar behaviours online. Few years ago, I noticed how guys react to girls' posts and I was astounded. It didn't matter if the girl was fit or not, their comments were all the same "hey beautiful", "wow you look so gorgeous" etc. Why say pretty to a girl who isn't? Just to get in her pants? There are disgraceful comments I've seen which I'd rather not say. Now I see the same pattern on TikTok - since the platform allows any users from over the world to comment on someone's video, the comments by men from different countries remain cheap.

There are some girls out there who are looking for that sort of compliment - the way they dress, their sly way of teasing and their individual demeanor. They want that kind of attention and they get it but that's not what we're talking about here.

Education plays a great role in of all this. An educated man knows how to behave with girls. The low-life you've encountered did not have the correct upbringing and lack essential values in their lives.

With more people hooked to their phones, humans in general have become socially awkward. Person to person communication is now a sought after trait. Just have a look on Youtube at how many videos there are about approaching girls; men don't know how to talk with the opposite sex anymore. You see, when they tell you that men think with their "thing", they are usually right. It's in our instinct and the urge can be very overpowering.

However, we are not primitives anymore and with our consciousness (animals don't have this, just us humans), we are supposed to transcend those cavemen desires to just procreate. The awareness has to be nurtured in but the society itself is going in the opposite direction - just think how easily accessible porn is nowadays. It's that instant gratification that's causing issues; they think it's as easy as talking dirty to a girl.

You can get yourself one of those alarm keychain where you press a button and it makes a really loud noise to alert passerby's and scare off the attacker. There are loads of other similar devices, some which can be hidden in your clothing so they go unnoticed. You also have the classic taser and pepper spray and personal safety apps as well. Do get one of those, they don't cost much but can be a life saver.

Self-defence should be taught at a very young age and girls should learn how to protect themselves. I'm glad you know martial arts. Although you cannot do much about how you look like (small/petite), you should know how to escape danger and there are classes for this. Maybe not for you per se, but for others who don't know anything about protecting themselves. In your case, you just need the confidence in you that even when you're by yourself, you have nothing to worry about.

As a man myself, I do apologise for the bad behaviours of my gender but I can assure you that NOT all men are like this. The gentlemen are busy helping ladies in distress :)

sarah_7 23 Dec 2019

Tiktok kept showing the cringy mauritians. I registered to follow my favourite youtubers but the cringe was too much for me. Girls get hit on no matter what they wear. I know women who would be in bikinis atevents and no men would try to annoy them. These days it's like the notion of consent is not even considered. And it's not just men. Women as well never seem to understand the 'no' and the ' none of your business's. I've noticed that many women dont respect people. Coming back to consent. I always ask for consent l. My Male friends have learned this too. If they want a hug. They can just ask. I need to be mentally prepared first because I dont like being touched. I refrain as much as possible from using my martial knowledge because I've been told that I hit very hard. Also it's something that I'll use only on extreme cases like if my life is in danger. Being hit on is more an annoyance to me. I'd like to see more women doing martial arts but sadly i noticed that women usually leave training after some time. Well of course not all men are like that. Many of my friends are real sweethearts.